Run, Scurry, FLEE! The End Is NEAR!

Hot off the presses from the Department of Kooks, comes the prediction by a Russian professor named Igor Panarin that by 2010, the U.S. will have disintegrated, and that Little Ole Me, down here in the Peach State (Georgia, for anyone not up on state nicknames) will be under the boot of our new Mexican overlords.  ¡Hola, muchachos! Meanwhile, most of my other relatives will be flying the maple leaf instead of Old Glory.  Cali and the West Coast go to Red China, Alaska to…wait for it, wait for it…Russia!  And for some reason unknown to (sane) man, New England and the Mid-Atlantic states, along with a healthy chunk of the South, will hook up with the EU.

And the thing is that this isn’t just some ordinary professor spewing nonsense- that happens all the time.  No, this is the dean of Russia’s academy for future diplomats, and a former KGB analyst who’s predicting the USA’s imminent demise.  Fits awfully well with the anti-Americanism apparently prevalent in Russia right now.  But does it fit well with reality?  I doubt it.  Let me put it this way: Ever seen a guy out on the street with a sign saying “The End Is Near”, or read one of those “Left Behind” books?  Well, this is very much similar to that, only in Russian.  Additionally, it seems to have been lifted from a video game that I saw in a Target a few years ago.

Now, after I have jokingly poked and prodded this theory, let me ask some realistic questions: Does anyone here think Mexico is in any type of shape to be taking over the South when they have out-of-control drug cartels to worry about?  Their army is going to pieces, and they’re going to take over Redneck Country?  Nice try.  And what plausible reason would the EU have for wanting New England, plus a chunk of Appalachia?  And I doubt China would have the ability to secure such a vast swath out in the West with its present resources.  Their real problem is that they blue-water navy is pretty feeble.  Some subs, and a few destroyers, but nothing good at power projection.  No carriers, for one, though they appear to be working on fixing up that problem.

Despite all of the problems fitting it into, as Lew Black put it, “the greater tapestry I like to call ‘Reality'”, Mr. Panarin’s theories are apparently wildly popular in Russia.  Let me just say something about this.  Hate to break it to ya, fellas, but just because it’s popular, doesn’t make it true.  I’d be willing to bet that there are some fundamentalist Christians who would like the “Left Behind” series to be true, but despite its status as a best seller, it still remains a mere wet dream of some kooks.  And that’s all that this will remain.  But if I’m taking Remedial Spanish in Fall 2010, then I’ll have to eat crow.

(H/T WSJ, via, which I highly recommend)


While I haven’t read the actual “Left Behind” series, I did read some of the “kids” version of the series.  I got rid of them long ago, but they still creep me out.


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