Open Letter to Israel

Dear Israel,
How’s it going? Probably not so well, huh? Well, let’s hear no more moaning from you. No more, “Oh, but the naughty Palestinians are launching rockets into our lands.  They’re really loud, and we get so startled when they hit!”  I don’t care how startled people are getting, your suffering is not nearly on the level of the Palestinians in Gaza.  Nowhere near that.  Ok?  This is not at all anti-Semitism, it’s just the truth.  So no more whining about the Qassams, please?  See, when a few mosquitos sting you, you don’t get rid of them by blasting away with a machine gun.  You might kill something or someone who isn’t a mosquito, and it’s a terribly inefficient way of killing mosquitos.

Face it, this whole offensive thing is not going to work.  The only way, militarily, you could possibly get rid of Palestinian attacks is if you totally wiped them off the map, like the U.S. did with the Native Americans.  And then everyone in the world would hate you, and the state of Israel would die, since much of your economy is based on foreign trade.

But I’d like to ask a question here, and this is more directed at the high-level chaps and chappesses in the Israeli government: What have you folks been smoking?  For f@&%’s sake, do you even have any sort of strategic goal other than “Kill Hamas”?  How could you have possibly been so stupid as to go into a conflict like this without any real strategic goals?  That has to be the very first rule of warfare: know what the f@&% you want to do before you start doing it.  And your public relations stuff has been s%&#ty as hell.  Okay, it’s not enough to have Twitter and YouTube, you need to have a good message to put on it, or else you’re just wasting server space.

And anyway, let’s face it, people draw their own conclusions.  We goyim out here are not idiots.  When Palestinian dead rise to over a thousand, and there are less than 20 Israeli dead, we can see the disparity.  We can count.

In the end, folks, all this will do is cause the radicalization of a new generation of Palestinians.  Perhaps, when you’re not “accidentally” bombing UN compounds, or claiming they were somehow chock-full of Hamas fighters, you could read this blog post at World Politics Review, about Hamas and the Palestinian will to resist.

The lesson here?  Something that I would have thought Israel, of all people, would have already learned.  You can’t bomb the s%&# out of people and expect them to like you.  It’s very simple.

Oh, and those settlers out in the West Bank?  Put a leash on those stupid motherf@&%ers before they cause another huge uprising in the West Bank.  That would not be cool.  In fact, even if they don’t cause an uprising, you should hold onto them tightly, because they appear to be colossal pricks.  Oh, and pardon my language.  Hope there weren’t any children around (a rule you would be wise to apply to explosive devices).

Stay classy,

Patton

Conservatives for Gay Marriage!

Well, conservatives in the sense of “keep that government out of my life” sort.  This article is top-notch, and totally Me-approved.  A selection:

The fact of the matter is that the majority will change its mind. The fickleness of the majority is not limited to same sex marriage – the majority will change their minds on just about every question ever asked of them. Just because the majority wants to oppress a minority, does not mean they should be allowed to. Our government and our constitution is setup in such a way that, where it exists at all, such tyranny can be overcome.

[…]

The way people talk about traditional family values, one would almost think that they want the government to tell them how to rear their children. The fact is no one wants to be told how to rear their children. Is it the government’s place to regulate family life?

[…]

Want your kids to grow up right? Then do your job as a parent and teach them right.

[…]

You want to know if legalizing same sex marriage is going to lead to pedophilia and polygamy? It won’t. Traditional family values legislation might – but gay marriage won’t.

[…]

Equal protection under the law is an absolute, inalienable right. America is freedom and opportunity. We are diverse, tolerant, and reasonable. Discrimination goes against every fiber of our being. It is not who we are, it is not what we are, it is not where we are headed. Same sex marriage is on the horizon. It is as inevitable as the first amendment. It is as inevitable as the civil rights movement. It is as inevitable as women’s rights.

Amen.  Read the whole story to get the full flavor of it.

Quote of the Day, 11-14-08

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” -Herman Hesse